Thursday, 01 November 2012 13:34

Get Smart or Stay Home, America!

Written by 

I live in Hollywood.  Really.  Right under the big sign on the mountain.  From my front door, I can walk to Hollywood and Vine in 10 minutes.  Yes, I see celebrities at the supermarket, at the bar, at the coffee shop.  (My favorite:  I pulled up next to David Crosby on the corner of Hollywood and Vine while my ipod, coincidentally, was playing early Byrds music.)

Around here, a lot of the daily news on local TV, the local radio stations, even the respected LA TIMES, is devoted to celebrity gossip.  More people can name Honey Boo Boo than Todd Akin.  (I’ll leave you to decide which is more embarrassing.  I am not taking sides in this essay.)

It recently came to my attention that one of the celebu-tards that people are so fascinated with (TMZ is everywhere here, folks; they even run a tour bus all over town for you people in the rest of the country who expect to see celebrities everywhere) has been Tweeting political opinion about the presidential election.  This woman’s insightful, thought-provoking missive to her fans:  “I think unemployment is very important for now, so as of now I think [my vote] is for Mitt Romney.”

Who this woman chooses to endorse is her business.  I completely respect that.  First Amendment and all that.  

The problem is this:  This woman is not registered to vote.  While she’s stumping for the candidate of her choice, the one area where she has direct personal influence is completely impotent.  She can’t vote next week even if she wanted to.

More and more, I see a mindset in the culture of knee-jerk decisions.  People give voting for the functioning of city, state and federal government the same amount of evaluation they give to “American Idol,” if not less.  Decision making in the voting booth, or walking in without adequate information on the ballot issues is a waste of your American privilege. 

I am NOT saying that endorsing the candidate mentioned above is ill-informed.  The point I was making there is that endorsing a candidate without having the ability to vote is pointless.  

I’m also saying that it is a waste of your right to vote if you don’t know what’s going on.  We all know people who don’t know one candidate from another, who make their decisions based on some superficial aspect to the decision, or because they just chose at random because they didn’t know.

Encourage those people to stay home on November 6: people who don’t read newspapers (online or offline), people whose life opinions are based on the content found on TMZ, and people who show up on voting day because it’s their civic duty but haven’t a clue what’s on the ballot.  Please do us all a favor and encourage those folks to stay home.  Leave the voting to the smart people because the less people who turn out to vote, the more powerful my vote becomes.

I did my homework.  I know what the propositions are on the California ballot.  (Full disclosure: I really do live in California and am not, also, registered to vote in Missouri.)  I hate to think that my carefully considered, educated, passionate vote was cancelled out by an adult Honey Boo Boo.

Despite its unapologetic political leanings, the Post-Dispatch has made it easy for you to see what’s on the ballot ahead of time.  You can research the issues independent of the Post Dispatch if you have questions, but you can see what’s on the ballot ahead of time.

Just visit here:     ST. LOUIS VOTER GUIDE

And because I’m a comedian and because I bow to the genius that is the greatest comedy mind of all time, BELOW you'll find what George “The Master” Carlin has to say about voting.

Now, since I’ve mentioned politics,  I will sit back and watch the comments come in calling me a fascist, racist, liberal, snob, intellectual, jerk, elitist, hippie, out-of-touch Hollywood wanna-be.

Get smart or stay home, America.